My addiction grew. It grew strong. When we would drive home from California, I found myself going to this restaurant in L.A., then three hours later in Barstow, then an hour later in Vegas. And if I wasn't on the verge of throwing up, we'd top it all off with a morsel in St. George. Yep, I was hooked. Badly. When I went down to Laughlin, NV to sell preseason just before we went to Philadelphia, I think that I had dinner there every night. Forgive me sweetheart, addictions die hard.
Now, we've been vegan for a couple of months. And dear, this is something that you need to know, so please forgive me. But for the past couple of weeks, I've been cheating on you with fast food. I lament to say that I can't truely call myself a vegan. Not after the slip-ups I've been having. At first, I thought it was harmless. I'd drive past and look through the windows. My concience would eat at me but I'd justify it. "Hey, it doesn't hurt to look." Next, I found myself circling the mall parking lot just to get a little closer. I'd even crack the window a bit to see if I could get a waft of the sweet, enticing, tantalizing scent. It was like a narcotic.
This downward spiral continued for a couple of weeks, until at last, I could take it no longer. The green juices and green smoothies were wonderful, but my heart was elsewhere. For too long I had allowed myself to aimlessly wander on that dangerous precipice of temptation. I had actually believed that I could be the exception to the rule. The next thing I knew, I found myself in a parked car, alone. Alone and in a battle that rivaled the Akhaian invasion of Troy. My mind was a flurry. "I can't do it", said one part. "But you must! This, THIS, will make you happy!", exclaimed the other. She asked for my money, I handed it over. $8.08. I had sold my happiness for the measley price of $8.08! And what's worse is that I actually hadn't sold it, I had been sold! I was miserable, but as I partook, I couldn't help thinking, "Oh, this is soooooo good."
I think that as part of my repentence process, and the confessions that are included, you need to see this.
I know that you're probably furious with me for all of this. I think of the humiliation that you must feel. This whole time, we've been talking to people about how wonderful it is to eat healthy and nutritious. And behind you're back, I've been eating these. Now, before you get too distraught, you should know that it's only been three times. I know that doesn't excuse my actions, please forgive me.
I think that you may need to sit down before you read this next part. I've been bad. The other night, I told you that I had to go out and meet one of the technicians so that I could pick up a contract that he had. If you remember, I actually took our children. Little Chrysalis, so innocent and sweet, had already fallen asleep by the time I saw the acute angle on the sign, and the brilliant, yet sinister colors that accompany it. Orion on the other hand, was awake. I know you think that I'm a good example to him, that I show him the ropes. I'm sorry Lig. On this occasion, not only did I partake, but I actually gave Orion some to. I've corrupted our little boy. He didn't have any of the burger, just some of the fries, but I know that it was unacceptable regardless. I hope that you'll forgive me.
I promise to you Ligia, if you'll forgive me, take me back, and help me overcome this ferocious addiction, I will not return to this place of corruption. I love you, and I love vegetables and fruits and sprouts and all of these wonderful healthy foods. Please forgive me, and please help me.
Love,
Your Husband Alex
7 comments:
If you want meat than eat meat, just eat it like Nephi did. It says in the Book of mormon to eat it sparingly. Problem solved.
Mmm... When I heard the locations in the beginning of the post, I knew exactly which wonderful establishment you were frequenting. Who says you can't eat good most of the time and splurge every now and again without being able to still consider yourself healthy? Plus, God gave us dominion over animals so that they would be a food source to make us strong. So once Ligia forgives you for sneaking around with the most delicious hamburgers and cheeseburgers and freshest fries on Earth, don't feel too bad. You don't need to repent to God for eating meat.
haha, this is actually a satire. I guess maybe that didn't come across very clear. Well, that was the attempt. It was really funny to Ligia and me anyway.
I thought it might have been, but you never know. I had a friend who made her husband swear to give up cola before she would even marry him. I'm glad to hear Ligia hasn't freaked about the meat. Long live In-N-Out!
I'm just up really late tonight because my sleep schedule is completely off and out the door, but I'm just laughing so hard inside from reading this! I knew it would hard for you. Admirable attempt though Alex, I must say, for the most part you're doing an excellent job! I remember when my roommate offered Orion a chocolate cupcake, and Orion got excited, and then we had to convince him it was yucky, and that mommy would make him a yummy smoothy. Or when I put plain cherrios in a bag for him to snack on, and I put my goldfish in a bag for me to snack on, and Orion said, "This one for me, that one for you." And I said, "Yes! This one for me, and that one for you." It's hard, particularly with the little ones watching you to always make sure you're setting the example, or being the strength for for your spouse. But I don't know how you guys do it. Once you've tried In-N-Out, I imagine it would be pretty difficult to never go back. LOL. I feel your pain. Probably doesn't help now that you're in AZ where the franchise is there at your grasp. :)
lol! Man, Ligia, your husband is a great writer! Well, so are you so no surprise there I guess. I was laughing so hard from beginning to end! I can't wait to show my hubby! Oh, and I just had a big craving for those delicious cheeseburgers! I'll be looking for the "sinister" looking signs!! Ha haaa!!
Post a Comment