What If?

Different music speaks to me at different times in my life. My grandfather once said to me, "If you can learn the language of music well, then you can speak to anyone in the world." In Spanish of course, and while I kicked the piano as a young girl practicing against my will. But those words have stuck. Music really is a universal language. Some have a gift for it. Others try. But there is no doubt that all of us can feel the pain of dissonance or hum along to jolly tunes when the right arrangement of chords are present. The feelings that certain songs can evoke in the human spirit are endless.

At a time in my life when I don't wish to go into much detail about the problems and strange dysfunctional situations my extended family goes through, let me just point out that one song that I've heard time and time again has spoken to me in a different way. I've added it to my playlist as the first song on the bottom of this blog. It's Coldplay's, What If? I love Chris Martin. He is a genuine and profound artist. I just want to dedicate this moment and song to this particular time in my life. If you've never heard it before, sit back, play it loud with no outside distractions if you can, and just let the melody sink in. I can assure this song will pull at someone's heartstrings somehow. Maybe not. But at this time, it clings to mine. Who knows? In a few weeks, there will probably be a new song in its place. But for this moment, What If?

What if there was no light?
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme.
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side?
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong?
Or make you feel I belong.
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side?
That you don't want me there in your life.

Ooooh, that's right.
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooooh, that's right.
How can you know it if you don't even try?
Ooooh, that's right.

Every step that you take
Could be your biggest mistake.
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take.
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life?
That you don't want me there by your side.

Ooooh, that's right.
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooooh, that's right.
How can you know it when you don't even try?
Ooooh, that's right.

Ooooh, that's right.
Let's take a breath, jump over the side.
Ooooh, that's right.
You know that darkness always turns into light.
Ooooh, that's right.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! I'm a little behind, but I just wanted to say it anyways.

Not too long ago, Alex and I watched a fun documentary called The Botany of Desire in which a botanist by the name of Michael Pollan describes how long ago, people in the Netherlands went through a phase called Tulipmania. They sold these Tulips for more than they were really worth. The most rare of these flowers, which in those days cost as much as a house, were these white tulips with splashes of red stripes all over them. Decades later, it was discovered that the reason these tulips were so rare was because they were infected with a virus. That's what caused the striped coloring. Anyways, a day before Valentine's Day my sweet hubby surprised me with these lovely red roses that had that similar striped splash. He said that like our marriage, these roses weren't perfect because technically they were probably diseased, but that they were beautiful even with their flaws. Alex rarely shows that he pays attention to detail, so it was nice to see that he did on this particular occasion. Thank you Hun. I love my diseased flowers. :) I love any and all flowers anyways. But these were special so I had to capture the moment with my camera.

My gift to him wasn't much. A homemade stir-fry with some veggie eggrolls. Okay, not completely Vegan, but I tried. And a sappy love poem.

I think he liked it.

What do you think?

And since the raw strawberry cheesecake was such a big hit, I made one in a heart pan for Valentine's day. We took this one to share with the Porter family since they invited us over for dinner with their families.

Orion tries to figure out exactly what to do with these Valentines he's supposed to hand out.

Chrysalis decides the mini-M&M's are great rattles and takes McKinlee's away so that she can shake two of them at the same time.

Our friend Brittney and her lovely daughter McKinlee.

I realized we don't have a picture together so we tried to take one. Not a flattering pic of me but oh well. Brittney always looks great. I just need to always remember what a sweet and generous person she's been to me. Thanx to her, Chrysalis may never need for me to buy her clothes. She just gets all of McKinlee's hand-me-downs. At least until we move away I guess. But thanx JP and Brittney for buying our daughter's clothes.

Orion sneaks into his bag of goodies. So much candy to choose from.

Some Extra Photos of the Birthday Girl

My Strawberry Shortcake. I love her to death.

A Lentil Bean on a Hike

So from what I've figured, the potential due date is October 7th or 11th. We are so excited to share and document this next adventure in our lives with all who care to read along. We are about 4 weeks along. 6 weeks if you count it the way most doctors do. But I don't include the first two weeks because technically you don't conceive until mid-cycle. Anyways, so far, so good. No nausea or dizzy spells yet. Usually they don't start for me until the six week mark anyways. But I'm crossing my fingers that I can avoid it all together this time. If I remain positive and eat well, I'm pretty sure I can avoid it. Here's to hoping. But today, we climbed to the saddle of Camelback Mountain in Phoenix, AZ. Quite a steep hike if you ask me. But I'm no pro hiker. Orion did a great job on the way up too, he climbed the whole way by himself. Alex carried Chrysalis in a fun backpack all the way up. I carried her down in a baby carrier and Alex carried the boy down. He was tuckered out. I'll post some pics up of the hike later. It was great. We got up there just in time to see the beautiful sunset. Nature's shows are the best. Now, we will be

camping out in our backyard. We wanted to go camping today too but decided not to. Instead we'll have a fun campout in our yard. Tent and all. Anyways, here's a pic of the stage our little one is at. As of today, it should be about the size of a Lentil Bean.

In Celebration of Life's First Year

As an amateur film-maker here is some more practice. But I have been having too much fun with iMovie not to share this. Once again, Enjoy! This is for the sweetest of little girls. This is scrapbooking/movie-making to a whole new level. One I'm not too familiar with yet, but with just a little practice, who knows right?

Don't Worry . . . Be Happy

Here is my first iMovie Project. Nothing fancy. But I had so much fun putting this together. Hope the grandparents love it too. You might want to scroll down and turn off the music from my playlist first. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday Chrysalis Rae!

A year ago, this sweet little package arrived.

Here she is today. Her big brother helps her dig into her Raw Strawberry Cheesecake.

A little timid at first, but she got the hang of it.

Yup, it's in the hair.

She actually didn't get much on her clothes. I was surprised.

She got a new baby doll that crawls.

Sporting the knitted scarf and beanie her Auntie Tiffany made for her birthday.

Not so sure she's ready to be a mom. Chrysalis celebrated her first birthday in the nice quiet of our home. We don't have many friends out here to celebrate with. Maybe for her second, we will have more family around and some old friends from Utah. But her brother loved helping her with her cake. She loves her scarf. She's always draping stuff all over herself like my shirts, so her little scarf is perfect. I'll probably post some more cute pics of her later in a dress my mom sent out for her to wear. It's perfect because it has Strawberries on it and I just love strawberries. She'll probably wear it on Sunday. I guess as a child, I was in love with Strawberry Shortcake so anything strawberries brings back those old comforting memories. It's why I made her those strawberry blankets when she was born, and made myself a nursing cover with chocolate covered strawberries all over it. If I had it my way, she would have a little room with a strawberry theme. Maybe in the near future. I can dream. But all in all, I think she had a happy birthday. I have mixed feelings about my little girl not being quite the baby anymore. I love how she's grown, but I hate how fast she's growing. And some days I can't wait for her to grow up faster. But today, I wish she would stay this little forever. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRYSALIS RAE HUNTINGTON! Watch for an upcoming video I'm putting together.

Some Random Thoughts and Goals:

So now that I've posted the official claim, I wish to keep good documentation of this pregnancy because we're approaching it differently this time. And hoping that it turns out well, we wish to document the experience as much as possible for the sake of sharing these stories and inspiring others, mainly our own children. Blogging has quickly become somewhat of a journaling tool for us. Especially for myself. And I find it soothing to get feedback from time to time. It helps me to reassure that what I'm doing is right. And at other times, it helps me to "question with boldness" what I am doing so that I can find the path to a route that might be better.

So what are we doing differently? A lot of things actually. I look back on the journey that I've had with my first two children thus far and here are some of the things I think about. Please don't mind my free association writing. Long story short: Orion was the first. Born in the typical American hospital environment. Cried a lot at birth. My postpartum healing was long. I suffered from some pretty heavy depression at times. I was given Pitocin, an epidural and other heavy drugs like Percuset. Check spelling. I love him though. He's been my guinea pig in a way. Sad to put it that way. But I'm glad he still loves me even though I've come to the conclusion that I'm far from being a perfect parent. I have a lot to learn yet. Chrysalis. Second child. Beautiful girl. Born at home in our pleasant little apartment in Pleasant Grove, Utah. Night and Day experience. Didn't cry at birth. She was calm and curious. I was walking around a lot after giving birth. Was able to go natural all the way. Had a tougher pregnancy with her in the beginning. Hypothesis and culprit? My diet. Overall I ate healthier with Orion. Definitely ate more living foods. With Chrysalis. I ate okay towards the end. In the beginning, I believe I may have gotten lazy and eaten more dairy products than I should have. Ignorance led me to believe I was consuming a good source of protein. I had yogurt and cheese sticks for breakfast a lot. I threw up a lot. All in all, my body doesn't tolerate dairy very well. To this day, I get severe cramping when I consume dairy.

So here are some of my goals as I set up what I believe will be my best pregnancy and labor experience yet, and I look forward to it:

1. I wish to be on a 100% Vegan diet and about 70% Raw throughout my entire pregnancy.

2. I wish to have this special baby born naturally at home once again.

3. I wish to continue some type of exercise regime at least three days a week, maybe more.

One of my new year's resolutions was actually to exercise more. As is everyone else's resolution I'm sure. But this year, I decided it was time to get a gym membership once again. I don't know why we stopped going for so long. I can only attribute it to laziness. So far, we've been doing it for about three weeks and we're doing well. Why am I writing about this? I guess there's something about writing your goals for all to see that makes you ever more determined to fulfull them. When I'm the only one who knows about it, I can easily talk myself out of it by justifying that no one will know but me. Of course, that's not true. But that's how my mind functions. So I make a declaration in a way to leave myself little room for failure.

I want to be honest with myself and with everyone I encounter. Yes, even with this silly blog that may one day not seem so silly to future generations. Only God knows for sure. What I amount to with this life may not be much, but maybe it will be of use to my kids.

Anyways, those are my ramblings for now. Hope it makes some sense.

Here comes Number Three: C'est la Vie!

It's not for certain at the time that I write this post. But as I've been charting my temperatures and using FAM (Fertility Awareness Method as discussed in Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler) as both birth control and to plan our growing family better, I came across an interesting pattern that couldn't mean anything other than that Baby Huntington #3 was on it's way. Hooray!!! But the signs are all there. As of today, I've had 21 days straight of temperatures far above my coverline. I've had three somewhat regular cycles prior to this temperature rise. I say somewhat, because I've only recently begun to ovulate again after not having ovulated for almost 18 months straight. Why is this? Well, I got pregnant in May of 2008, and am still currently nursing my sweet baby girl. So, that would explain my inability to have a regular cycle. Btw, today is also a special day. It is my little girl's first birthday. I can't believe a year has come and gone. It brings tears to my eyes to think that my little baby girl isn't quite the helpless infant anymore. She walks and talks babbles, and has quite the personality at times. But we love her the same.

I also want to take a moment to document the fact that I've reached my goal of wanting to nurse my second baby for at least one year. Those who know me well, know how difficult this was for me. I sometimes feel like I failed with Orion because I only made it to 7 months. But I don't kick myself for it anymore. I'm sure he's forgiven me. But at the beginning of my pregnancy with Chrysalis, I had set out with great determination to make it to at least one year. Believe me, there were days when I wanted to quit. Not that it was painful or anything. But you mothers out there will understand me when I say breastfeeding is a full-time job in and of itself. This was not an easy thing for me to do. But I made it. One year today. Now, even if I wanted to quit, I'm not sure I could because Chrys is still very much attached to the breast. So slowly, I am going to try and introduce rice and nut milks into her diet and hope that she'll take to those well. I've heard almond mixed with coconut milks are full of plenty of the necessary fats that growing babies need.

I don't wish to publish this post the day that I write this because I want to be doubly sure before making the claim that baby #3 is really on its way.

I do wish to document this for the sake of journaling our family's experiences and also to be of support to any other women out there who may feel skeptical about using FAM and to encourage any who may already be on the journey. Also, for anyone who may not know about it, I would like to highly promote its use. Am I getting paid for saying this? No. But when I find something I strongly believe in and find to be absolutely useful to women, mothers, and parents in general, I'm not the kind of person who likes to keep it to myself. I'm in awe at the fact that very few women know about it. Whether they decide to use it or not, every woman has a right to educate herself on the matter. I was struck with a sense of real ignorance about my own body a few years ago when I was first introduced to the idea by a friend.

But FAM has been a great tool for us. To put it discreetly, it has allowed for us to use a form of Natural Birth Control and also for Pregnancy Achievement when we were ready. I love things to be as close to nature as possible. I know that in saying this I might strike chords of dissonance with people who might think otherwise but it saddens me to see so many women out there in the world turning to pills and other newer devices and feel them safe to use as contraceptives. The feminists of the world will have women believe they are in control and are taking charge of their bodies in this manner. I'm not one to oppose advances in science and tools or techniques that might further our abilities to be more efficient as human beings, but when it comes to messing with our bodies especially with chemicals created by man, I MUST oppose, even if only in my opinion as expressed in this blog.

I don't wish to demean anyone or friends that have used the forms of contraceptives of which I speak. Every woman has to find what works for her, with her body and must also keep in mind the opinion of her companion. By posting this, I only wish to state an opinion. My convictions are strong. By nature, I'm a passionate human being and passion only seeks to be expressed. Like I stated earlier, I'm not the kind of person who wishes to remain silent about something that I strongly believe in. I like to share and am always open to having others share things with me as well. I'm not perfect. I don't claim to be close to it either. But there you have it. Some of my thoughts written out loud for all to read. If further interest peaks your mind, pick up a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health by Toni Weschler. If you've never heard of it, it will change your life. I promise.

Anyways, as I bring this particular post to an end, I'd like to use it to mark the beginning of a new adventure for this little family of four to embark upon. It means, a family of 5 to feed for my husband, it means a fourth child for me to take care of (hubby included, Jk), it means Orion has a greater example to set, it means Chrysalis will be a big sister for the first time. We're real excited. Nervous? Apprehensive? Of course. But somehow, we know we'll be taken care of. I reminisce about a time not too long ago when I got pregnant for the first time. We had no money, huge debts, a small house that smelled like sewage (literally) and Alex was the only one working for about $11/hour. We may not be billionaires but the Lord has truly blessed us in more ways than one. Somehow, we still have shelter over our heads, clothes on our backs, food on our tables, and sometimes, even some extra cash in our pockets. Whether we lose some or we gain some, we will always have one another. And that's the glue. That's what holds us together. C'est la vie.