So You Think You Can Dance!!!

“Outside my studio door, in my garden, is a tree that has always been a symbol of facing life, and in many ways it is a dancer. It began as a sapling when I first moved here and although a wire gate was in its way, it persisted and grew to the light, and now thirty years later it is a tree with a very thick trunk, with the wire embedded within. Like a dancer, it went to the light and carried the scars of its journey inside.”

~Martha Graham~

I don't "think" I can dance. I "KNOW" I can dance. I beleive that the above quote encompasses everything a dancer feels in every aspect of life. I once had a dancer's body and had a hard time accepting the small imperfections and flaws that I possessed. The dance world can be cruel at times and any amount of rejection can slowly eat away at your self-esteem. Two babies and forty pounds later, I've now learned to embrace every curve of my voluptuous figure. While I am not a conformist in any way and have not stopped trying to lose a lot of this baby body fat (and the combination of age and Latin genes are not much help) I've learned that accepting this God-given figure even in its most imperfect of states, is what is going to help me reach my ideal weight and fitness level. Perhaps this is a mere attempt to justify why I have not managed to get back into shape. But while I work on it (and I do write this in an attempt to share with others that I am about to make a serious change in my life in order to achieve something that isn't easy for me) I've thought a lot about my own attitude towards myself. I believe that this is key to what I want to change. Like the metaphor of the tree, I may have developed quite a "thick trunk" carrying quite a few emotional scars, but that doesn't mean I can't still grow. And it doesn't mean the "light" is not there to aid me.

So for anyone who knows me, you probably know what a passion I have for dance. You also know that I recieved a BFA in Modern Dance. My husband on the other hand hates it. Well, perhaps he doesn't really hate it. That's a strong word. But let's put it this way, he rolls his eyes in quite a few circles at the mention of the word. He even finds certain genres of dance to be vulgar and provocative. And no, it's not just exotic dancing that he puts in this category. I suppose that as my polar opposite, he keeps me in balance this way.

I used to think I wanted to be in a great Dancer's Company or choreograph something so grand that it would be used in Vegas in some sort of staged theatrical production. While I would still love to do that (I won't lie) I sat at home one day with my children wondering if my education in the art of dance had all been in vain. Consequently, my husband and I have been talking a lot about the Law of Consecration and the idea of keeping just enough to be sufficient for our needs and using the rest to give unto the building of the kingdom. This is not an easy one. But while discussing this, I thought of my education. The talents of which I possess that have also been given to me as a gift to help in the raising up of Zion.

I remembered an address given by Boyd K. Packer that a friend shared with me while I was attending Brigham Young. I sort of read through it quickly, not really seeking much from it. How many things have I looked over because of my own foolishness in not truely seeking? And I know I may do it again and again. I recently pulled it out and found something so profound I had to write out my thoughts. The address is entitled "The Arts and the Spirit of the Lord" and it was given at a fireside on Feb. 1, 1976. I love how in his humility he doesn't think himself as an artist by any degree. And I've seen some of his bird carvings. They are above and beyond anything I could ever produce with mine own hands.

In it he says, "Go to, then, you who are gifted; cultivate your gift. Develop it in any of the arts and in every worthy example of them. If you have the ability and the desire, seek a career or employ your talent as an avocation or cultivate it as a hobby. But in all ways bless others with it. Set a standard of excellence. Employ it in the secular sense to every worthy advantage, but never use it profanely. Never express your gift unworthily. Increase our spiritual heritage in music, in art, in literature, in dance, in drama. When we have done it our activities will be a standard to the world. And our worship and devotion will remain as unique from the world as the Church is different from the world. Let the use of your gift be an expression of your devotion to Him who has given it to you. We who do not share in it will set a high standard of expectation: “For of him unto whom much is given much is required.” (D&C 82:3.) May I remind you what I said at the beginning. My credential to speak does not come from personal mastery of the arts. I repeat my confession. I am not gifted as a musician or as a poet, nor adequate as an artist, nor accomplished in the field of dance, or writing, or drama. I speak on this subject because I have a calling, one which not only permits, but even requires, that we stay close to Him and to His Spirit."

Upon reading this, I realized something huge. My education in dance has in no way been in vain. Even if I never set foot on a stage again. I reflect upon my wanting to dance on stage in Vegas. It all seems so silly when I think of the moments that I spend at home dancing around in the living room with no one to watch me but my son as he jumps and stomps and flails his arms about his head. Our innate human desire for movement is all there. He laughs to see me dance and tries hard to immitate as I stand on my head breathing through my yoga techniques. Out of the corner of my eye, my little girl lies on her belly, stretching out her neck with her curious eyes looking at my awkward movement. It is a gift and a tool which I can now use in teaching my own children and we can giggle about it in the process. What could possibly be more important than that?

As petty as it may sound, one of my reasons for reminiscing about my past as a dancer is the upcoming season of So You Think You Can Dance. I guess it inspires me. I keep on dancing no matter what my body limits me to doing. And yes, I KNOW I can dance. I can dance whenever and wherever I wish. If my kids could speak or at least speak clearly, they would tell you the same. Mommy can surely dance.

With that said, who wants to watch SYTYCDance with me?

Far Above the Price of Rubies

As some of may or may not know, my dear grandmother passed away last week on May 13, 2009. I am okay for anyone who may be wondering. My grandfather passed away just this last December and I knew this was coming soon. It was one of those things where you just felt there was little time left for her because you knew she wasn't to be parted from her beloved husband for long. She'd been battling cancer for a while and it seemed that this truly was a blessing for her. She is no longer in any pain and has been reunited with her husband. What a gift it is to have the gospel at times like these. I am ever so grateful for it, because I do not fear death this way. Any one of us at any given time may be taken back to the heavens and it is only with the knowledge of the gospel and the comfort that comes from knowing our families are forever, that things like this aren't as difficult for me as they might be for someone who has no knowledge of such things. I wasn't able to attend the funeral but with the blessing of modern technology (the computer) my sisters and I were able to put together some words for her eulogy. We had little time to prepare so please forgive us if it seems somewhat disjointed. I do believe the essence of her words are there and her meaning comes across clear even in the rushed translation that I put together. I would eventually like to go back and get things down a little more clearly, but for now, this is what I'd like to share from the interview we had 6 months ago after my grandfather's funeral.

Eulogy of Baltazara Velez Chozo:

“Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” (Proverbs 31:10) The definition of virtue is moral excellence. A virtue is a character trait or quality valued as being good. Virtues can be placed into a broader context of values. Each individual has a core of underlying values that contribute to our system of beliefs, ideas and/or opinions. A value is the core from which we operate or react. Individual virtues can be grouped into one of four categories of values:

· Ethics (virtue and vice, good and bad, moral, immoral, and amoral, right and wrong
permissible and impermissible)
· Aesthetics (beautiful, ugly, unbalanced, pleasing)
· Doctrinal (political, ideological, religious or social beliefs and values)
· Innate/Inborn (inborn values such as reproduction and survival)

When sitting down in a closed room with my grandmother, listening to her explain the significant experiences of her life, it was easy to recognize that this woman found the greatest joys of her life in the simple role of a daughter, mother and grandmother. And there really is nothing simple about any of those roles. With each came a huge responsibility. We would like to share with you portions of an interview conducted with my grandmother, Baltazara Chozo Velez, and in the things she found that were valued far above the price of rubies.

Interview With Baltazara Velez Chozo
As translated by Ligia V. Velez Huntington

-What object comes to mind when I say the word “home?” What significance does this object hold?

I had a dress. It was my favorite because it had a little floral print and it was yellow. I love yellow. It reminds me of home. But I never had expensive dresses. I liked the little flowers. Nothing too big and gaudy. Like my home, it was simple but warm. I also a remember a doll made of rags. She never had any “one” name in particular. I would name her after family members depending on what I was playing at the moment. To me, home is about being with my family. That’s probably why I named my dolls after family members. It’s what I knew. It brought me comfort. Later in my life it was about being with my children at home and teaching them good morals. When they don’t obey, it’s painful. But you try and keep on teaching them.

-What was the most tender moment you remember with your mother?

My mother always told me to believe in the Lord. My mother always defended me. I remember being afraid of my dad whenever I shattered a dish or cup. But she always stood by my side to defend me.

-How many brothers and sisters did you have?

Thirteen. One of my brothers (2nd) and one sisters (4th) died of chicken pox? There was no cure for it at the time. No vaccinations or anything. I was the ninth child.

-What is the earliest memory you have of your dad teaching you something?

All the obligations of a housewife was an important thing to him and he valued that enough to make sure I knew of it.

-Describe to me some common activities you would do together as a family.

Birthdays. We would invite friends over and celebrate from the night before. At midnight, that’s when it counted most. We would celebrate it as soon as the hour of the day hit. We would wear our best attire and clean the house. It showed that you cared. It was respectful.

-Describe something you love or are passionate about? Why?

My family. Because they are my children. They come from me and it hurts when they don’t come to visit me.

-Who was your first love? How was he special?

I had a lot of pursuers. Nestor was the first one and the only one really. Because he came to visit me. He was very poor. But he was honest about his poverty. I noticed that he truly loved me. He was humble and very simple. He didn’t play games. He was what I would describe as a transparent man. You could see right through him. He would emphasize his poverty because he wanted to know if I could accept a poor man into my life.

-How did you know when you were really in love?

When he left, it was hard for me. The year that he was in the air force, being apart from him, that was hard. But I received letters from him. That’s when I knew I loved him. My other suitors didn’t become very family oriented. They would always stand on the corners of the streets chatting and didn’t really care to KNOW me. To get to know who I was. Here is something interesting: My grandmother tried to talk to me in regards to setting me up with another suitor. It was a sort of arranged marriage. My grandparents even helped him set up a mini-market to provide good business for our possible future together; to pay for our life expenses together. But I didn’t love him. Then there was another who set up a bakery and made pretty good money. But I didn’t love him either. I guess I had many suitors.

-How did you meet your spouse?

It was through my sister in law, through my brother Thomas. She introduced us and we would go to the movies every now and then. My dad didn’t want us to get together but I married for love, not for money.

-Describe your first kiss.

A kiss at that time, was considered a serious promise. That never happened until we were married. Nestor and I held hands, but my father could never know of that. That was the riskiest thing we ever did while dating. He would also make excuses to come see me and say that he was coming to see my cousin for instance.

-What was it like falling in love with your husband…the dating and your feelings?

I would make up excuses to go to Chiclayo to go shopping when really, I would meet up with Nestor to go out and hold hands some more. I would escape and go alone just to see him. I had no intention of telling my parents because I knew they wouldn’t approve. We eloped. He promised me he would save some money so we could run off together and get married. He wrote to my father to ask for forgiveness with the promise that he would take care of me and always provide. He was determined to fulfill his promise to take care of me. There was a wedding announcement in the newspaper. It was the “Edicto Matrimonial.” He sent the clipping to my father as proof of his promise. After the wedding, my mother-in-law sent a turkey and some chickens. I remember thinking, “Where are we supposed to prepare all of this? Our little apartment was way to small to prepare such luxurious foods.

-Tell me of a time you lost all control and felt as though you could never pull through?

For the most part, I felt that in every situation I really could pull through. Sometimes Nestor would get home late and that would bother me. But even through those short moments of anger, I always tried to remain positive. I would think about how to get ahead in life. I had to be supportive and assist my husband so that he could progress and become the best man he could be. I did my best to be a good housewife. To be of good support emotionally was key.

-Tell me the thing, experience or person that was most difficult to part from and why?

It’s difficult for me to part from my children and grandchildren. I get sad to see them grow up and get married, but not because they grow up. I am just sad they leave and that I must let them go.

-At what point in your life did you feel like you had become an adult?

When I got pregnant. There were a lot of ups and downs in this adventure but I would say it was when Gloria was about a year old.

-What was it like when you first became a mother? How did you feel? Were your labors hard? Was it hard raising your children?

I was scared and felt alone sometimes. I didn’t have family near. There was only a cousin nearby and it was from Nestor’s side of the family. I was nervous because Nestor worked and left early every morning at 6 am so he wasn’t around all the time throughout my pregnancy. I also heard horror stories from other women about how difficult labor was. I actually went to hospital alone in a taxi while pregnant with Gloria (my first child). It was a labor and delivery only hospital. Nestor’s cousin told him I was in labor and he rushed over to the hospital. It turned out alright. I then had a home birth with Norma and Jose. I felt more prepared and experienced these times. There were no complications. I was progressively less afraid with each one. It was less painful too. Nestor didn’t want more kids after having Gloria. He only wanted one child. But I’m glad we had our three.

-When and how did you build a personal relationship with God? How has that changed your life?

When my husband accepted the gospel, I had doubts. For about a year I doubted but I studied and searched on my own. I was very skeptical. It was through my dreams that I received some sort of personal revelation. Before getting baptized, I dreamt that Christ entered into my bedroom with his apostles to tell me that it was all true. I didn’t get baptized when Nestor did. I later made the decision on my own. That was a good thing for me.

-What accomplishment do you deem worthy of remembering and that you’d like your children and grandchildren to remember you for?

Know how to defend yourself in life. Work to always unite. I did my best to unify my family. Find ways in which to progress. Don’t be a conformist.

-What advice can you leave with me today that you think will help me in my life?

As a wife, support your husband. Always do things for the sake of your children. Keep them in mind and don’t be selfish. It is for their well-being. Finishing your education will give you the means to defend yourself. Honor your mother and father. Be obedient.

Our Grandmother found the greatest of her values in the fruit of her hands rather than in “riches and rubies.” She never feared a life of poverty and always strived to do what was right. Progression in the mind and spirit is what really mattered deep down in her heart. She understood that as long as we could provide for our basic essential needs that the Lord would take care of us in all other ways. Through her example, my grandmother taught us about patience, kindness, love and faith. It is in these qualities that we can see the fruit of my grandmother’s hands, and apply these universal principles in our own lives as we also move forward towards eternal progression.

“Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands: and let her own works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:25-31).”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!

There is this guy that we love,
He's as gentle and sweet as a dove,
He may make mistakes,
But he's not a fake,
He was sent from the Heavens above.

He works hard at sales, it is true,
And he loves his family too,
We're never without,
Cuz of him it's no doubt,
When he leaves, we are all very blue.

So in this blog world we will share,
A moment for Alex that's rare,
It's not every day,
Twenty six comes his way,
It's our way of showing we care.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE!
You're only 26 years old one year. Enjoy!

From your family, Ligia, Orion and Chrysalis.

Dreaming . . . . .

. . . . . of what it might be like to have chocolate milk instead.

Chrys' First Chatterings

Here's a fun video to enjoy. Her first chatterings. Hope you all think it's as precious as I do. I'm her mother of course.

Randomness of the Last Two Weeks

So here are some random pics of some of the things we've been up to the last two weeks.

Alex helping cut veggies while Grandma Cheryl overdoes it in the kitchen. We don't mind though because her food is awesome.

Sharing and comparing plates with some friends we met out here.

Indulging in her Taco del Mundo.

Learning how to make our own, all natural, Horehound cough syrup.

Learning how to use sprouts in our healthy wraps, taught to us by Cheryl.

My friend Kira enjoying a wrap and nursing at the same time. Multitasking supermom.

Mother's Day photo shoot. Here's Chrys.

A Grandma and a Mama with the fruits of their womb.

Cheryl's requested shot of her son with her grandson next to the pink flower trees in bloom.

Then she wanted one of me with my daughter. Hope you all enjoy.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and moms-to-be out there. Here's a fun poem I found last year that I really think most moms can relate to. Thought I'd post it here because I love it so much. It really encompasses everything an LDS mom strives to be and do, and how impossible it seems sometimes to get it all done. It's supposed to be read Dr. Suess style.

The Girl in A Whirl By: Dr. Sue (aka Vickie Gunther)

Look at me, look at me, look at me now! You could do what I do If you only knew how. I study the scriptures one hour each day; I bake, I upholster, I scrub, and I pray. I always keep all the commandments completely; I speak to my little ones gently and sweetly. I help in their classrooms! I sew all they wear! I drive them to practice! I cut all their hair! I memorize names of the General Authorities; I focus on things to be done by priorities. I play the piano! I bless with my talents! My toilets all sparkle! My checkbooks all balance! Each week every child gets a one-on-one date; I attend all my meetings (on time! Never late!) I’m taking a class on the teachings of Paul, But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all . I track my bad habits ’til each is abolished; Our t-shirts are ironed! My toenails are polished! Our family home evenings are always delightful; The lessons I give are both fun and insightful. I do genealogy faithfully, too. It’s easy to do all the things that I do! I rise each day early, refreshed and awake; I know all the names of each youth in my stake! I read to my children! I help all my neighbors! I bless the community, too, with my labors. I exercise and I cook menus gourmet; My visiting teaching is done the first day! (I also go do it for someone who missed hers. It’s the least I can do for my cherished ward sisters.) I chart resolutions and check off each goal; I seek each “lost lamb” on my Primary roll. I can home-grown produce each summer and fall. But that is not all! Oh, no. That is not all . I write in my journal! I sing in the choir! Each day, I write “thank you’s” to those I admire. My sons were all Eagles when they were fourteen! My kids get straight A’s! And their bedrooms are clean! I have a home business to help make some money; I always look beautifully groomed for my honey. I go to the temple at least once a week; I change the car’s tires! I fix the sink’s leak! I grind my own wheat and I bake all our bread; I have all our meals planned out six months ahead. I make sure I rotate our two-years’ supply; My shopping for Christmas is done by July! These things are not hard; ’tis good if you do them; You can if you try! Just set goals and pursue them! It’s easy to do all the things that I do! If you plan and work smart, you can do them all, too! It’s easy!” she said and then she dropped dead.

The Best Big Brother

And here's a post for those who think I've forgotten my little boy. Here's a glimpse of what a sweetie he's turned into. He got a fun gift from my high school cheer advisor for his birthday. A little late, but it's always fun to open gifts. A stuffed animal and some books and finger puppets. He interacts with his sister very well. He gives her kisses and tries to put little toys in her hands all the time. He gets so excited when she holds things and helps put them back in her hands whens she lets go. He truly is the best big brother ever.

A Quarter of a Year

So here she is, a quarter of a year old. Already my little newborn is not a newborn anymore. She holds her head up quite well and loves tummy time a lot more than her brother ever did. She actually rolls from her tummy to her back every now and then. It's crazy to me how fast these little ones grow. No wonder time begins to fly when you start having kids. I already miss my little newborn. I don't even want to think of how I'll feel when my kids begin to leave the nest. I know one day they will have to. But today, they are mine. All mine.

Three Years and Counting

Approximately three years and seven days ago (but who's counting?) on a beautiful, sunny Southern California, spring day, an event took place that was to change my life forever.

It was at the beautiful Newport Beach Temple, on April 29, 2006 that Alex and I were sealed.

We walked out of the beautiful temple doors, hand-in-hand, and I knew my life would never be the same.

Since then, there have been many ups and downs, from tears of sorrow to tears of pain and tears of laughter to tears of joy. The moments of frustration between a young couple committed to working through differences are not always easy to work through. Ask anyone who's been married. They know. But I know they're worth it.

I'm the happiest woman alive because . . . . .

The love and constant support I receive from family and friends has doubled. My family has grown and even though they may be slightly dysfunctional, they have always been supportive of the love that needs to be nurtured between a couple entering into the eternal bonds of marriage.

Three years and seven days down, eternity more to go. On our wedding bands, Alex and I decided to engrave the words Come What May. I am a real fan of Moulin Rouge so the music inspires me. Come What May was my favorite song. Since then, quite recently, a talk was given by our Apostle Joseph B. Wirthlin entitled Come What May and Love it. He passed away soon after giving it. In it he said, ". . . every life has peaks and shadows and times when it seems that the birds don’t sing and bells don’t ring. Yet in spite of discouragement and adversity, those who are happiest seem to have a way of learning from difficult times, becoming stronger, wiser, and happier as a result." I am so glad we chose this short but meaningful message to have as a theme to base our marriage upon. It is a constant reminder to us of how having patience with one another through the hard times does and will pay off when we look at the bigger picture. So Hunny, here's to eternity. Through thick and thin, I will be by your side. I don't care how hard things may get. Come What May, and LOVE IT! Happy 3rd Anniversary Babe!