I recently attended a personal development class called Royalty and Romance by Kirk and Kim Duncan from 3 Key Elements. It's a personal development class for couples. While a lot of the concepts shared were not necessarily new, attending these events always sheds new light on matters I need to further embrace in order to continue becoming a better person.
As a dancer, I'm passionate about educating our youth to use their bodies to understand the world better. Motion is so crucial to getting the full experience and yet, it is often set aside as unimportant in our current educational systems. I won't claim to know everything but in the world of dance, movement and motion in my body helps it to heal and feel whole. Perhaps this may never make sense to those that don't like to move, or that have never tried, but I will advocate this concept till the day I die. Did you ever notice that the word MOTION is inside the word EMOTION? Interesting right?
So what do we typically do with our emotions? Ever notice that when you're having a bad day, and someone asks how you are, that you typically give the answer that everyone likes to hear? I know I do. It's the "I'm Fine," response. How often do we do this to ourselves, and never fully release the emotion deep within, that we are (heaven forbid) not actually FINE. So what do we do? We stuff the emotion. And it festers inside.
Interestingly, when we feel an emotion, we learn best not by holding onto it but by moving it through. In other words, we emote it. We move it through our bodies. Take in the information or feeling and move it. But what happens when we don't move it through? I often wonder why people say an emotion is eating them up inside. I guess it's much like food. We ingest it, take what we need and then move it through. But sometimes, our food gets stuck and our digestive system is blocked. So too with emotions. When they get stuck, fear and anxiety are a common build-up. Anger and frustration too. This is when journaling or drawing can be therapeutic. We physically manifest a way to move the thought through our bodies with either words or a creative process. And dance, is one of the most beautiful formats for moving something through our God-given bodies.
What I love most about this whole idea is that simple swaying motions can create a stronger connection between a couple that is out of harmony. Kirk said, "A Sway a day, keeps the Devil away." Basically this means that moving together would create a sense of unity, synchronization, harmony and connection. The sway is accomplished by holding one another and swaying back and forth, much like you'd find at a high school dance during a slow song. For some reason he refused to call it a dance. But I'm going to call it a dance, well, because I am a dancer. He encouraged everyone to do this at least once a day. After all, don't we all crave a deeper connection with one another, especially as married couples often weighed down by the responsibilities of life?
It seems silly in my mind that a dance could solve all our problems and diminish the anxiety we always have over finances, raising children, mundane schedules, etc. etc. etc. But here is what he shared that was the real kicker for me: There's science behind how this works. You see, in real life, a couple will never see things eye to eye 100% of the time. In fact, more often than not, they will disagree. But how do they come to honor one another for their unique qualities without constantly feeling out of sync with each other? He then shared a video like this one:
And then it clicked for me. I didn't marry my husband to convert him into a perfect person who always agrees with everything I believe. I mean how often do people separate from one another because they can't see eye to eye? I married him for his unique ways of helping me to acknowledge my own weaknesses, and how to improve upon them. I married him because I knew I possessed strengths he didn't, that would make me feel like I had a purpose and something of value to bring to the table.
I honor his individuality. As I know he honors mine. Anyone that knows my husband, knows he struggles to enjoy the art of dance. But somehow, he seems open to swaying with me. At least once a day. How quickly a sway was able to bring all 5 metronomes together. And how quickly they all get out of synchronization without the swaying motion.
Here's what I know: When we feel emotions that seem to collide, a sway or dance, may just be the key to helping us reconnect. Feeling in sync can possibly provide us with the time to work out our differences without driving a wedge further into our relationships. A Sway a day, keeps the Devil away. We intend to embrace this idea into our daily routine. Anyone want to join us?