Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Self Reflection

I am way behind on my blogging. I have so many posts I want to catch up on. From Halloween and on. Oh well.

As I sit here for a one brief, quiet moment, I am currently reflecting on my resolution to serve others that I'd made at the beginning of this year. I'm not certain I've accomplished what I've set out to do. I've definitely tried to reach out to others a lot more but I find myself not living up to my true potential. I feel like there is so much more that I can do that I'm not doing. Is it just me? Am I the only woman out there that feels she isn't living up to her true potential? I think I've felt inadequate now for too many years and my mental state needs to shift.

It's hard to. I find that the hardest thing about making changes is that the people you had a lot of things in common with suddenly don't share your enthusiasm anymore. I used to think, "they've changed." Maybe they have. But the more I think about it, the more I come to realize that maybe perhaps I'm the one that has changed. I'm the one that has moved in a different direction. And I pray and hope it's the right one and that others will follow. Because sometimes, I'll admit, it gets lonely.

I don't want to travel the road less traveled. It's not easy to blaze a trail. But I refuse to ignore the intuition I get. I refuse to ignore that nagging feeling that tells me to press forward though the climb ahead is long and tough. I've never in my life found anything that encompasses so many of the things of which I feel passionate about in this life. Forgive the shameless marketing, but it is truly how I feel. doTERRA is a tool for me to use now for all the things that I've longed to do. It lines up with too many things for me to ignore it. Everything from living a longer and happier life, being fit and healthy, finding emotional balance, using natural products for healing, and learning how to touch one another more often. Yes, in a world where ironically the sense of touch has become synonymous with anything perverse, I feel that many of us have forgotten how to use it for good. For reaching out to those who crave to be hugged and caressed to relieve the stresses they unknowingly hold on to. Why do we do this to ourselves?

We live in a world where extremes swing from one side of the pendulum to the other without realizing there is a way to balance it in the middle. I know this post probably seems very disjointed but it's just my thoughts for the hour. I'm on a mission. I'm determined to find a way to reach out and touch those who seek for it the most. I'm determined to finish off my year by finding as many as I can to serve, even if but for a small moment. And continue my service throughout my life. This resolution was not just for a year. For me, it was a way to discipline myself to not be afraid and to anxiously seek out those in need. I have no reason to fear. I'm on the Lord's errand and I know he will guide me through it.

Deep Breath. So here's to no fear, and a stronger resolve to do the things of which I've set out to do. Here's to strength beyond my own to help me in achieving my true mission in life. Here's to the Lord's patience with me and helping me to understand how to use it with kindness and true charity. I'm far from perfect. But by golly, I'm going to do my best to show him how close I can get. And hopefully, at the end of my life, I will have no regrets. No thoughts of "What If?" And feel thoroughly satisfied that I truly gave my best effort. Yes, I'm certain I will stumble along the way. But I will get up. I promise you that.

All right, back to work. :)

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