Finding Balance

I'm an addict.  And a bit of a perfectionist.  I have a tendency to find something I want to be good at and then I focus.  I focus so hard on something and I work and pick at it until I'm certain that no one could do a better job than I.  Is there a problem with this kind of thinking?  Definitely.  I believe I have great qualities.  I am persistent and dedicated when I set my mind to something.  But these qualities also come with flaws.  At least they do for me.  So I'm writing this out to hopefully discover something new about myself and correct myself as I battle the great struggle that life is.  I think my biggest problem is that I will focus so hard on one thing, that everything else tends to go by the wayside and I become very unbalanced, both in my physical and emotional life as well as in my spiritual.  This, I believe is the eternal life struggle.  Do some people ever really find it?  And if they do, how do they put it into practice?

And it's so easy to blame it on my hectic life with three children and one more on the way.  But I think I'm done with that.  I don't want my babies to grow up thinking they were the cause of my imbalances because let's face it: I CHOSE THEM.  I chose to have them and if anything, they are constant reminders to me of where to find balance.  And I hope and pray that my imperfect habits don't rub off on them because their innocence and ability to balance themselves out even when they deal with a stressed out mom is my greatest instruction and I'm just now beginning to listen to the lessons they are trying to teach me.  They never forget to smile at something sweet.  They laugh often.  They move their bodies and don't sit still long in order to circulate their systems in a natural way.  Why do I fight it so?  Why can't I learn how to be relax and just be more like them?  Go with the flow.  Be a child.

I know this seems like a vague post, but I'll probably explain this in more detail as I've suddenly had the urge to write out my thoughts and not censor what's coming out.  So in my quest to find balance, I am currently working on healing my emotional.  The stresses of my past that I've held on to for so many years.  Yes, it's time to let them go.  I'm learning what true forgiveness means.  Because holding a grudge is only hurting me and no one else.  I've seen what emotional stress has done to my family members and I refuse to travel that path.  I will strive to be more grateful and realize that everything I've always wanted is already in front of me.  I will not judge and I will not cross boundaries unless I feel prompted to do so.  My mind is an absolute mess.  So it's time to clear it up.  Detox in a sense.  But this time, I will detox my mind.  So my question of the day for any readers following along: How do you find a balance?  What are some things that have and have not worked for you?