I'm an addict. And a bit of a perfectionist. I have a tendency to find something I want to be good at and then I focus. I focus so hard on something and I work and pick at it until I'm certain that no one could do a better job than I. Is there a problem with this kind of thinking? Definitely. I believe I have great qualities. I am persistent and dedicated when I set my mind to something. But these qualities also come with flaws. At least they do for me. So I'm writing this out to hopefully discover something new about myself and correct myself as I battle the great struggle that life is. I think my biggest problem is that I will focus so hard on one thing, that everything else tends to go by the wayside and I become very unbalanced, both in my physical and emotional life as well as in my spiritual. This, I believe is the eternal life struggle. Do some people ever really find it? And if they do, how do they put it into practice?
And it's so easy to blame it on my hectic life with three children and one more on the way. But I think I'm done with that. I don't want my babies to grow up thinking they were the cause of my imbalances because let's face it: I CHOSE THEM. I chose to have them and if anything, they are constant reminders to me of where to find balance. And I hope and pray that my imperfect habits don't rub off on them because their innocence and ability to balance themselves out even when they deal with a stressed out mom is my greatest instruction and I'm just now beginning to listen to the lessons they are trying to teach me. They never forget to smile at something sweet. They laugh often. They move their bodies and don't sit still long in order to circulate their systems in a natural way. Why do I fight it so? Why can't I learn how to be relax and just be more like them? Go with the flow. Be a child.
I know this seems like a vague post, but I'll probably explain this in more detail as I've suddenly had the urge to write out my thoughts and not censor what's coming out. So in my quest to find balance, I am currently working on healing my emotional. The stresses of my past that I've held on to for so many years. Yes, it's time to let them go. I'm learning what true forgiveness means. Because holding a grudge is only hurting me and no one else. I've seen what emotional stress has done to my family members and I refuse to travel that path. I will strive to be more grateful and realize that everything I've always wanted is already in front of me. I will not judge and I will not cross boundaries unless I feel prompted to do so. My mind is an absolute mess. So it's time to clear it up. Detox in a sense. But this time, I will detox my mind. So my question of the day for any readers following along: How do you find a balance? What are some things that have and have not worked for you?
Monday, May 7, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Making Sense of Healing and its Sometimes Slow Process
Usually, Orion is the one breaking out in some kind of rash. Never before have I ever had a rash like this. I'm sensitive to bug bites but it never gets this bad. I guess I'm getting a small taste of what my poor baby went through those first couple of years of his life. There must be something to learn from this. Frankly I'm not sure I care so much right now what it is. But I'm trying to remain positive and open to what lesson I need to learn from this particular adversity. A few people have said it might be hives. It sure feels like it. But has anyone ever heard of hives centralized on the arms and ankles? I thought hives was an all over breakout. I'm thinking it's something yeast related. Some kind of eczema.
I'm not certain what defines hives and separates it from all other allergic or non-allergic rashes. It has calmed down a bit. At night, it seems to flare up the most. I've done some juicing to cleanse out any toxins I may have ingested from eating all those gas station goodies. I was also thinking it may have something to do with my slight anemia that my blood tests showed. So I'm thinking I'm low in protein and that it must definitely be contributing to my low immune function. Could also be a low B-12. I'm certain some eggs could help that. I've also added a probiotic supplement and started taking a healthy source of fats and omegas. I guess I'm trying to attack this from all angles. For the itching, I've been taking hot showers as the hot water seems to scratch out the itch, if that makes any sense. Then I switch the water to cool to help take the inflammation down. I've heard a lot about hot and cold hydrotherapy so I thought I would give that a try and it definitely helps soothe the skin. I've mixed a few drops of peppermint and melaleuca oils in some water and placed into a spritzer bottle that I use to mist all over the itchy spots after my showers. It really cools. And then I slather on the coconut oil. This routine has been the most helpful to me.
Dr. Brian Clement, a doctor I'm rather fond of, once said in a lecture on health that eczema and other such rashes are basically asthma expressed on the skin. That basically, it's a combination of systems not functioning together and a body desperately trying to rid itself of toxins. And, that as a last resort, the body uses the skin to expel things that are not being expelled properly otherwise. Does that make any sense? I'm just thinking out loud now. So I've been asking myself, what could my body be trying to rid itself of and why is it having trouble doing its job? I'm eliminating as much processed food and sugars as possible. As a pregnant woman, I want to say, that has been a challenge. But I have noticed a bit of a pattern. Anytime I eat sugars, I find myself flaring up again. I also thought it might be low B-12 because I don't eat a lot of animal products and therefore don't replenish my flora the way I probably should with all the cleansing I've done in the past. Which is why I've been taking a probiotic. Anyways, those are some of the things I've done thus far. Not a total cure. But I'm not one to find instant relief anymore. I refuse to mask my symptoms with some drug that suppresses it long enough for new things to malfunction. I want to heal my body. Even if it's a slow process. So here's to hoping and healing and listening to my body's warning signals and giving it what it needs.
I'm not certain what defines hives and separates it from all other allergic or non-allergic rashes. It has calmed down a bit. At night, it seems to flare up the most. I've done some juicing to cleanse out any toxins I may have ingested from eating all those gas station goodies. I was also thinking it may have something to do with my slight anemia that my blood tests showed. So I'm thinking I'm low in protein and that it must definitely be contributing to my low immune function. Could also be a low B-12. I'm certain some eggs could help that. I've also added a probiotic supplement and started taking a healthy source of fats and omegas. I guess I'm trying to attack this from all angles. For the itching, I've been taking hot showers as the hot water seems to scratch out the itch, if that makes any sense. Then I switch the water to cool to help take the inflammation down. I've heard a lot about hot and cold hydrotherapy so I thought I would give that a try and it definitely helps soothe the skin. I've mixed a few drops of peppermint and melaleuca oils in some water and placed into a spritzer bottle that I use to mist all over the itchy spots after my showers. It really cools. And then I slather on the coconut oil. This routine has been the most helpful to me.
Dr. Brian Clement, a doctor I'm rather fond of, once said in a lecture on health that eczema and other such rashes are basically asthma expressed on the skin. That basically, it's a combination of systems not functioning together and a body desperately trying to rid itself of toxins. And, that as a last resort, the body uses the skin to expel things that are not being expelled properly otherwise. Does that make any sense? I'm just thinking out loud now. So I've been asking myself, what could my body be trying to rid itself of and why is it having trouble doing its job? I'm eliminating as much processed food and sugars as possible. As a pregnant woman, I want to say, that has been a challenge. But I have noticed a bit of a pattern. Anytime I eat sugars, I find myself flaring up again. I also thought it might be low B-12 because I don't eat a lot of animal products and therefore don't replenish my flora the way I probably should with all the cleansing I've done in the past. Which is why I've been taking a probiotic. Anyways, those are some of the things I've done thus far. Not a total cure. But I'm not one to find instant relief anymore. I refuse to mask my symptoms with some drug that suppresses it long enough for new things to malfunction. I want to heal my body. Even if it's a slow process. So here's to hoping and healing and listening to my body's warning signals and giving it what it needs.
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